Caffeinated Cowardice

What I should have said:

“Are you always this rude to those you patently consider your social inferiors or are you just heavily medicated?” 

or: ” I do hope you win the prize at the Pimps and ‘Hos party. You’ve obviously made such an effort. Oh, you’re not going to a party…?”

or: “I spent a great deal of money in order that I no longer have to serve arseholes without complaint. You’re an arsehole. I’m complaining.”

or: “English. Is. My. First. Language. I. Am. Neither. Deaf. Nor. Stupid. There. Is. No. Need. To. Speak. So. Slowly. I. Can. Take. Your. Order. And. Make. Your. Drink. But. You. Have. To. Tell. Me. What. You. Want. Rather. Than. The.Person. You. Are. Speaking. To. On. Your. Mobile. As. I. Am. Not. A. Mind. Reader. And. You. Are. Mumbling. Shouting. Coffee. Coffee. And. Refusing. To. Elaborate. Then. Wondering. Aloud. (To. The. Long. Suffering. Recipient. Of. Your. Endless. Phonecall). Why. You. Don’t. Appear. To. Have. A. Regular. Skinny. Cappucino. In. Front. Of. You. Is. Rather. Foolish. I. Assume. You. Don’t. Get. Out. Much. (Or. My. Guess. About. The. Heavy. Medication. Was. Spot. On).

What I actually said: “One seventy five please. Thankyou. Have a nice afternoon.”

*sigh*

WTF?

Most Ridiculous Question I have Been Asked To Date:

- Do you do passports?

I side with Joss Wheddon. He said (most eloquently, I feel) “The public are morons. I have no other explanation.”