new staff uniform?

http://www.chargrilled.co.uk/t-shirts/Sarcasm-Is-Just-One-More-Service-That-I-Offer-t-shirt.m

Let me know what you think…

24.10.08 @ 5.06am

Things I should have anticipated but didn’t:

1. Insomnia: hence the timing of this post
2. The Appearance of a Hitherto Unsuspected Hatred of Disorganisation: hard to believe, I know. Just ask my accountant. And I’m not suggesting that the builders are anything less than total professionals or denying that the delay is due to the extensive water damage caused by the pipe, but the fact remains that the job is already taking longer than I’d hoped which leaves me at an organisational disadvantage. How long will it take? When can we replace the floor? When can I reopen? Will I still have a business left to trade? I DON’T KNOW!
3. A New Friendship With the Local Butcher: I now have time to cook (all bloody night, sometimes) so I have taken to shopping for food - Andrew Reid’s on GWR are to be highly recommended. And the little Co-Op further down has some of the most helpful and friendly staff I have ever encountered in a mini-mart. Seriously. (Plus, their own-brand coleslaw rocks.)
4. The Cost of Maintaining My Caffeine Intake at Retail Prices: holymotherofgod – how much???? I need a new hobby.
5. Geographical Imprisonment: being completely ignorant to the timescale of the fixing and the level of involvement that might be required on my part (I can’t visit my parents/friends/travel to the other end of Glasgow in case I am needed, toot sweet, to appear with a spare set of keys) means that my horizons still stretch no further than Byres Road, the shop and the flat. I occasionally venture a few hundred yards further down Great Western Road for a restorative gin at Mancinis, but that’s it.
6. The Unknown = Agitation = An Inability To Concentrate On Anything Else For More Than 3 Minutes: this has me bouncing off the walls for hours, occasionally greeting Colin at the door when he gets in from work clutching a plate of whatever I’ve concocted, then forces me to follow him round the flat, chuntering, until I forget what it is I’m doing and wander outside for yet another cigarette.
7. The Built-In Wardrobe Doesn’t Go All the Way to the Wall: I chucked a couple of bags and the detachable hood from my winter jacket on top of the wardrobe in a spurious attempt to tidy up. Imagine my surprise when they shooffled down the back. The wardrobe doors alone are over 6 feet tall, and there’s little chance that I’ll be able to reach them, even if I can get up high enough to try.
8. A Heroic and Prolonged Demonstration of Tolerance by Colin: the man deserves a medal.
9. I’m Going To Need the Toolkit: I hope that dismantling the bloody wardrobe is easier than it looks, for I’ll be damned if I’ll lose a perfectly good head covering to Narnia*. Even though the faux fur edging does make me look like a womble. Which is why I took it off the jacket and chucked on the wardrobe in the first place… 

 

 

* yeah, yeah. I know it’s ‘on’ not ‘in’, but as far as I’m concerned the comparison stands; I’m under-caffeinated, sleep-deprived and hyperactive. Do ya feel lucky, punk? Well, do ya?